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"Wait...did you say Vampire Mermaids?!" |
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is one of my favorite summer blockbusters. I've loved that movie since the first time I saw it. Of the first two sequels it spawned, Dead Man's Chest was only a small step down but still immensely entertaining, while At World's End was overly confusing and slightly disappointing. Neither of these sequels were bad, but neither captured the magic of the first outing. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (henceforth referred to as POTC4) unfortunately continues this trend of diminishing returns.
The plot of POTC4 is considerably less drawn out and convoluted than the previous two entries. The film opens on Captain Jack Sparrow in London trying to free some pirate friends from certain death. In a matter of minutes Jack is captured, escapes, and embarks upon his next thrilling adventure. In a nutshell: The Spanish are tracking down a hot lead on the location of the Fountain of Youth, the King of England enlists newly appointed privateer Captain Barbossa to find it before the Spaniards, and Jack gets shanghaied by Blackbeard...who is also looking for The Fountain. You would think this streamlining of the plot would make the movie more focused, faster paced, and shorter. Instead we get a bloated movie with hollow characters and yet another supernatural McGuffin.
I really want to make it clear that POTC4 isn't a horrible movie, it's just disappointing. Not disappointing in the sense that I had high expectations that weren't met, but in the sense that almost all of the ingredients for a great summer adventure were there and it just didn't come together. The blame for this lies squarely on the shoulders of the script and the lazy screenwriters who threw it together. POTC4 is loosely based on the novel "On Stranger Tides" by Tim Powers. In and of itself, this is just a horrible idea. You have an established film franchise populated by iconic characters and you get the bright idea to force these characters into a completely different story? That is madness! It's just like forcing a square peg into a round hole. Something is going to get mangled in the process and neither piece will look the same as it did before.
I'm not going to take a fine toothed comb and go through all of the flaws in the film. After all, it is supposed to be a big, loud, fun movie and some shenanigans are acceptable. I do want to touch on a couple of specific examples though. In POTC4 Captain Jack Sparrow is the hero. This is ridiculous. Three films were built around this guy being a scoundrel. He is, you know, a PIRATE after all. This character worked so well before because he played perfectly against Orlando Bloom's goody-two-shoes Will Turner. I never thought I would miss Bloom or his character in this series, but in hindsight a character like that is crucial. In making Jack the hero, he becomes a more subdued, somewhat castrated character. His place in this film is basically to lighten the mood and save the day. This brings me to the Missionary and his story arc. It plain doesn't fit. It feels like a remnant left over from the novel that doesn't make sense in the context of the film. He could have been the character to replace Will Turner, but instead he is wasted on a sappy "love conquers all" subplot that never really starts or finishes. It pops up with no explanation and disappears just as suddenly. The time spent on that character could have been completely cut from the film and absolutely nothing would have changed.
There are no two ways about it: The lazy script put training wheels on a franchise that never needed them in the first place, let alone four films in. There are, however, a few sequences in the film that are almost worth the price of admission by themselves. Specifically, the mermaid sequence flirts dangerously close with brilliance. It is scary, funny, and thrilling all at the same time. It is strong enough to make up for a few of the squandered action sequences in the movie. I'm thinking seriously about seeing it again just to see that scene.
As far as the 3D goes, I can't really comment. I opted to see it in a traditional presentation and I don't feel like I missed anything other than a few sword stabs at the audience. If you have the option I would recommend seeing it this way simply because there is a good portion of the movie (mermaid scene included) that happens in the dark, and the 3D that I've seen has consistently been lacking in those conditions.
Like I said before, it isn't the worst movie I've seen this year, it just isn't as fun as it should have been. Johnny Depp still makes Jack Sparrow an insanely watchable character, even if his hijinx are toned down a bit, and Rush's Barbossa is still the perfect foil for Sparrow. If you're a Pirates fan it's worth the price of admission. If you're not, don't feel bad if you sit this one out. Grade: C+
The Good, The Bad, and the AAARRGH!
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-Jeremy
Here's my Depp-osit regarding 'Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides'...
ReplyDelete"Did anybody see that? Because I will NOT be doing that again."
(But... yeah... the mermaids were Depp-initely cool.)